


Not Yet

by Sampika



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Fix-It, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 14:17:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14498841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sampika/pseuds/Sampika
Summary: SPOILERS FOR INFINITY WAR. Do not read unless you have watched the movie.Loki will not leave Thor to do this alone.





	Not Yet

**Author's Note:**

> So I watched IW Saturday and iT MURDERED ME. I was sobbing in the theater and it is a good thing I brought tissues. Loki and Peter Parker's deaths hurt me the most out of all of them, I think, and I HAD to write something. 
> 
> I am still working on my others, and I'm so sorry those updates are slow to be released. I have two AP exams next week and I have two weeks to finish my portfolio for my art class, so time is tight right now. Hopefully I should be able to have more frequent posts after mid-May.

“You… will never be… a god,” Loki choked out with the last of the air in his lungs, even as he scrambled at the titan’s hand clutching his throat like a rag doll. And then there was a _snap,_ and it was dark, and the aborted sound of a scream filled his ears.

It was cut off by deafening silence, and then there was… nothing.

No sound, no scent of blood and the burning ship and bodies, no pain.

Loki blinked open his eyes, finding himself in a field. The sunlight was beating down on him, unobstructed by clouds, or shadows of something darker. A breeze drifted across the landscape, setting the loose strands of his hair flowing in the wind and tickling at his ears. The soft scent of dry grasses and salt floated on the air. And in front of him, the ground rolled on and on until it didn’t, it dropped away into a cliffside that could only be hiding an ocean.

_The sun will shine upon us again._

He’d said that, had he not? But the memories were faded, blurry, hidden.

There was no air in his lungs.

Loki gasped for breath, but none came. Fear gripped his limbs and froze his blood - his chest heaved but no air filled his lungs, there was no sound as he choked, there was _nothing._ He clawed at his throat, begging, _please, please let me breathe,_ pulling as if a weight rested there that he couldn’t tear off. He fell to his knees in the grass with a soft thud, and an impact without the pain that should have been there.

_Loki._ Something, someone was calling his name, and he latched onto the sound in his head like a lifeline. A tether. _Calm down, Loki._ It was soothing, familiar in a way he hadn’t heard for… years. All at once he stopped struggling, instead letting his arms fall weakly to his sides as he sagged into the ground. His hands brushed soft blades of grass, dark soil, pebbles. He ran a finger over the smoothest one, letting himself loose himself to it as he stared at the glinting reflection of sun in the speckles of quartz throughout the stone. The ragged noise of his gasps faded away, and it was then that he finally felt it.

He had no heartbeat. His chest was as still as the pebble beneath his fingers.

He gazed up again, picking up the pebble and holding it into the sunlight. No dirt coated the shallow grooves, It was clean, bright, perfectly round. Loki stuck it in his pocket without a thought.

_“I knew I would find you here, someday. My son.”_

Loki turned around to face the voice. Frigga stood several feet away, her hands folded neatly in front of her and her blue dress flowing lightly in the breeze. Loki wanted to rush to her, embrace her, tell her _sorry, I’m so sorry._ She held a hand out to him, beckoning him in, urging him closer. Loki rose to his feet to face her directly.

But he didn’t step forward.

He tilted his head to see beyond her. A massive hall stood perched at the top of another grassy hill, and even from this distance he could hear joyous laughter and cries. _Valhalla._ He shook his head.

“Why am I here?”

Frigga looked at him with a face he’d seen in the past too many times. “Do you really not know?”

Loki turned his gaze to his feet. “I am not worthy to be here. This is a mistake.”

“You died a hero, Loki,” Frigga said, taking several steps closer until she was close enough to grab both of his hands in her own. “You deserve to be here as much as anybody else with good in their heart and strength in their soul. Maybe even more so.”

_Died a hero. Died._

_Died._

A memory slammed into his head, and another, breaking through the walls. Thanos. His brother, in agonizing pain. A hand around his throat. A snap.

“No,” Loki breathed, shaking his head and taking several steps back, letting his hands fall free. “I can’t be here…”

“But you are. You mustn’t keep them all waiting,” his mother reached for him again. Loki shied away.

“I _can’t_ be here. Thor, he needs help, he’ll _die--_ ”

“Loki.”

He stopped, gasping again for air where there was none. Frigga reached out and cupped his face in her hands. “Thor can survive this,” she murmured, too soft. “You are here now. There is no way back.”

No. _No._ That wasn’t true, it couldn’t be true. He’d come back from the dead before, and nobody would stop him from doing it again. Thor was alone, possibly _dying,_ and after everything… Loki couldn’t let that happen.

“I’m sorry, mother,” was all he offered. She gave him a sad smile.

“Me too.”

Loki took one more look around him, at the rolling, golden and green hills, at the far off trees of a forest, at the elegant hall on the hill brimming with great souls. The sky almost seemed to smile down at him, and the sun’s warmth grew slightly warmer. One more breeze kicked up, sending his fair flowing wildly once more as the wind kissed all the cuts and bruises on his cheeks.

Loki squeezed his eyes closed, and took several backwards steps. He heard the crumble of pebbles dislodged from the cliffside, the tumble and crash of waves on the shore down below.

And he fell.

 

* * *

 

Loki took a shaky breath. Pain rocketed through his lungs, his neck, his throat - but the sun was gone, and the air was cold and burning, and a weak hand was gripping desperately at his chest.

_Thor._

He struggled to turn his head, to see his brother with his own two eyes even if the pain had him holding back a scream.

“Loki…”

He had just enough time to see the relief in Thor’s eyes before the ship blew itself to pieces.

 

* * *

 

When he woke again, Loki didn’t know where he was. The room was small, containing little more than the bed he was lying in and what looked like a small desk and chair, sparsely decorated. Bright light from the bulbs in the ceiling temporarily blinded him, and he had to blink several times to realize he wasn’t alone in the room. Thor was kneeling next to his bedside, saying something, and another blond man stood in the corner with his arms folded over his chest.

“...brother? Tell me you can hear me, please,” Thor was saying, looking into his eyes and waving his hand in front of Loki’s face.

“Brother,” Loki gasped out, but could only wince before he said any more. His neck was _burning_ in agony, and reaching up, he could feel the bruises with only a light brush of his finger. Thor let out a sigh of relief, and the smile that bloomed on his face almost made Loki want to reach out and hug him. And he would’ve, had the pain not seized him the minute he tried to sit up.

“It’s okay, don’t move,” Thor said, lightly holding his shoulders down. “You’re _safe._ ”

Loki melted into the touch, letting his eyes close and the exhaustion fall over him once again.

Maybe things weren’t quite okay, and maybe things looked bleak with Thanos and his cult of children on the move. But he was _okay,_ and he was with his brother. As long as they stood together, they would be able to defeat the titan. He held onto that belief, that hope, with an iron grip. Because if he lost it, if they couldn’t win…

Loki’s hand drifted down into his pocket. His fingers met the surface of a very smooth, very round pebble.

Valhalla was waiting for them both, but not yet. _Not yet._

Because they would win.


End file.
